About Kindness Compass
Kindness Compass is a loving-kindness game that teaches players to offer simple wishes of care to themselves and others. The compass moves through a widening circle: yourself, someone you love, a neutral person, an optional difficult person, and a broader wish for living beings. These directions organise the activity. They do not require a particular emotion to appear.
You might use a quiet phrase such as "May you be safe" without feeling especially warm or affectionate. You can change the words, choose a different person, or leave a stage out. Kindness does not mean approving harmful behaviour or removing a boundary. The practice should remain voluntary, especially when a suggested person or relationship brings up discomfort, fear, or pressure to forgive.
How to play Kindness Compass
Choose a comfortable starting point and read the first invitation. Offer yourself a simple wish, or begin with a safe, familiar person if self-directed wording feels difficult. Use language that fits you. A short, honest phrase is enough; there is no need to create an intense feeling.
Move towards someone you care about and then a neutral person, such as someone you recognise but do not know well. Keep their privacy intact and do not enter identifying details. The wish can remain silent. You are practising an intention, not claiming to know what that person feels or needs.
Treat the difficult-person stage as optional. Choose a mild everyday difficulty only when you genuinely wish to explore it. You may stay with a neutral person, return to yourself, or leave the game. Do not choose someone who has harmed you because the compass seems to require completing every direction.
Finish with a broad wish or a return to one safe person. Then consider a small, appropriate action, such as speaking respectfully or offering help with permission. A kind intention does not require contact, closeness, agreement, or forgiveness. Keep practical boundaries and support in place after the screen sequence ends.
Benefits of practising with Kindness Compass
- Intentional goodwill: Repeating a modest wish offers a way to practise care without requiring an immediate emotional response or a declaration of affection.
- A wider perspective: Including a neutral person invites reflection beyond familiar relationships while avoiding assumptions about that person's private circumstances or inner experience.
- Self-inclusion: Beginning or returning to oneself reminds players that kindness need not mean ignoring their own comfort, needs, or safety to satisfy someone else.
- Boundaries alongside care: Making the difficult-person stage optional distinguishes a kind intention from trusting, excusing, or reconnecting with a person who causes harm.
- Connection to action: Ending with a respectful, consent-based choice can keep goodwill practical rather than treating a repeated phrase as a complete response to conflict.
Who this game may suit
- Children aged eight and above exploring caring intentions with supportive adult guidance.
- Teens who want to consider kindness without pressure to feel or forgive on demand.
- Adults beginning a brief loving-kindness practice in ordinary, non-clinical circumstances.
- Families able to respect different beliefs, wording preferences, and relationship boundaries.
- Groups that can provide private participation and an equally acceptable alternative exercise.
Variations and adaptations
Younger children
Use only the child, a trusted person, and a familiar animal or friendly imagined character. Let the child choose a simple wish such as safety or comfort. There is no need to include a difficult person. Avoid asking who was chosen or why in front of others. A drawing or quiet thought can replace spoken words, and the child may pass.
Teens and adults
Choose language that does not imply closeness, such as wishing that another person acts safely and wisely. Notice the difference between goodwill and agreeing to a relationship. Keep the practice short when strong feelings arise. Afterward, consider whether a practical boundary, private conversation, or request for support matters more than continuing the meditation sequence.
Classroom or group
Explain that this is an optional caring intention, not a belief statement or a reconciliation exercise. Use fictional or neutral examples and do not require pupils to direct wishes towards someone involved in a real conflict. Keep choices private. Offer a quiet reflection on respectful behaviour for learners who prefer not to use meditation or spiritual language.
For parents and teachers
Introduce Kindness Compass when there is room for choice, not as a shortcut after a child has been hurt. Say, "You can wish for safety and still keep your distance." Avoid requiring a child to forgive a bully, imagine an unsafe adult, or repeat affectionate words they do not mean. Never use the game as punishment for anger or as a condition for resolving a disagreement. Acknowledge the facts of the relationship and take appropriate protective action. Model that kindness can include a firm boundary. When the exercise brings up distress, stop and offer ordinary support rather than insisting that completing the compass will resolve it.
Why this approach is used
Fredrickson and colleagues studied a loving-kindness programme with working adults and reported changes in daily positive emotions and related measures over time. That study did not test Kindness Compass, establish results in children, or show that one brief round repairs a relationship. It provides background for studying repeated goodwill practice, not a reason to require difficult-person exercises. The immediate educational aim is to choose a caring intention while recognising that feelings, relationships, and safety are more complex than a compass sequence. No direction measures compassion, and finishing the game does not prove that a conflict has been resolved.
Research
- Fredrickson, B. L., Cohn, M. A., Coffey, K. A., Pek, J., and Finkel, S. M. (2008). Open hearts build lives: positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
These sources concern the underlying technique or a related programme, not a direct evaluation of this game.
Read our related guide for Kindness Compass.
Frequently asked questions
What age is Kindness Compass suitable for?
Kindness Compass is recommended for ages 8+. The interface offers Little (5-8), Older (9-12), and Teen+ modes. These controls change presentation; they do not override the guidance for this particular game. Younger players should have a parent or teacher nearby.
What does Kindness Compass teach?
It practises loving-kindness practice. It is especially suited to exploring goodwill while respecting consent and personal boundaries. Use a short round without pressure, then discuss what was noticed rather than treating completion as a measure of personal progress.
Is Kindness Compass free, and do I need to download anything?
Yes, it is free to play in your browser. There is no app to download. It works on phones, tablets and computers; use a modern browser and turn on the optional voice guide or sound in the game settings if you wish.
Can it replace therapy or medical care?
No. Mindfulness games are a supportive everyday practice, not a treatment. If a child or adult is struggling with ongoing anxiety, low mood, anger or sleep problems, speak with a doctor, counsellor or other qualified professional.
Must I include someone who has hurt or bullied me?
No. Skip that stage, choose a neutral person, return to yourself, or stop. Kindness practice should not become pressure to forgive, make contact, or tolerate harm. A child who has been hurt needs responsible adult support and appropriate protection. Completing a compass direction is never more important than maintaining a safe boundary.
What should I do when I do not feel loving or kind?
You do not have to produce a feeling. You can try a modest intention, change the words, or leave the practice for another time. A phrase such as wishing for safety may feel more honest than affectionate language. Do not judge yourself or another player by how warm the exercise appears to make them.